


"boys! grow giant squid in your bathtubs!"

by biichan



Category: Macdonald Hall - Korman
Genre: M/M, Yuletide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-12-25
Updated: 2004-12-25
Packaged: 2017-10-05 01:27:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/36283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/biichan/pseuds/biichan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elmer Drimsdale has a new pet squid, but that doesn't stop Bruno Walton from making his life hell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"boys! grow giant squid in your bathtubs!"

It had been nearly a year since Elmer had had a chance to practice ichthyology. Summer had been spent rebuilding his earthquake machine and the goldfish he'd hoped to breed that fall were pushed aside for the nobler quest of saving the Manchurian bush hamster (_Cricetulus Manchuria_.) Of course the bush hamsters were gone now—they and their innumerable babies shipped away to various universities in order for the Mr Zucchini breeding effect to be studied in more detail—and so Elmer had been left with gap in his scientific regimen. At first he attempted to fill the hole in his schedule by conducting microbiology experiments concerning the fermentation of yeast, but when Bruno Walton ended up drinking most of Elmer's experiments and shortly thereafter earned a month of dishwashing, Elmer decided that he would have to find a new pursuit that wouldn't attract Bruno's attention as the hamsters and fermented yeast had.

That the squid managed to fall into his hands was mere fortune, however.

His mother's Scottish cousin had sent it to him as a Christmas gift, though how he had come by the squid in the first place was still a mystery. Nonetheless, Elmer was not going to look a gift squid in the beak and so it was with great pomp and circumstance that he installed the squid (which he suspected to be _Watasenia scintillans_) in its own personal aquarium, specially chilled for the cephalopod's comfort.

Elmer felt the stirrings of great kinship with the invertebrate, such that he had never felt before, even with his beloved ants. He and _Watasenia scintillans_ were going to do great things together. There were untold heights of scientific discovery for them to ascend to, further inroads to be made in the interest of human/cephalopod communication. _Watasenia scintillans_ had an intelligent look in its eye, oh yes.

Unfortunately, Elmer's return to Macdonald Hall meant that he once again had less than optimal time to spend on his experiments. This was not because of his schoolwork—one of the advantages of being a scientific genius was that homework was never really a problem. No, the reason for Elmer's lack of free time could be summed up in two words.

Bruno. Walton.

Bruno Walton, who seemed bound and determined to violate their contract at every single opportunity. Somehow over break Bruno had found out that the American director, Seth Dinkman, was looking for a school to do exterior filming for his next picture at, and with Boots O'Neil had formed a highly illegal committee to make sure that the Hall was chosen. Elmer, for some reason unknown to him, was automatically a member and as the other default members seemed to frown on one of their number not showing up—if they had to put up with Bruno, so did everyone else—Elmer was stuck spending his afternoons typing various letters of campaign.

Even worse, Bruno was disrupting his studies after hours.

Not a night seemed to go by without Elmer being disturbed from his star-gazing by the presence of a highly magnified striped shirt. Bruno said very little on these occasions, merely asked to be let in, and when allowed into Elmer's room promptly fell asleep on top of Elmer's bed. Elmer had gotten used to sleeping in the bathroom, next to the tub that housed the newly grown _Moroteuthis robusta_ (for _Watasenia scintillans_ had grown a bit too large to be kept in its aquarium.)

At first Elmer had thought that Bruno was using his room to lay low from the most intimidating Miss Scrimmage, knowing as he did that Bruno and Boots were prone to illegal and unadvised visits to the girls of Scrimmage's after hours. In fact, Elmer remembered quite a few harrowing occasions where he too had been dragged along to pay a visit to the dreaded female sex, mainly during the times in which he had had Bruno as an official roommate, as opposed to an intruder in his bed. Unfortunately, one conversation with Boots set Elmer straight—Bruno hadn't gone to Scrimmage's since before Christmas.

Perhaps, thought Elmer, it might be easier if he just automatically slept in the bathroom.

That night Elmer was awoke from his slumber by the sudden presence of bright light. He blinked blearily at the striped figure before him, before reaching for his glasses, which lay on the edge of the sink.

"You're sleeping in the bathroom," said Bruno—for that was who he was.

"You're sleeping in my bed," Elmer answered, quite logically.

Bruno frowned. It was almost as if he hadn't even thought of how he might be inconveniencing Elmer. Then, suddenly, his eyes went wide. "Hey, is that a squid in there?"

"_Moroteuthis robusta_," Elmer answered automatically.

"Cool," said Bruno. He reached down, offering Elmer his hand. "Come on. The bed's big enough for the both of us."

Elmer was not sure why he allowed Bruno to lead him back to his bed. After all, Bruno was the engineer of nearly all his misfortunes. And yet… it really was difficult to refuse Bruno when he asked you. There was something infectious about his attitude—he made you believe you could do the impossible. Someday, Elmer thought, Bruno would make him defy the law of gravity.

Bruno's arms were warm around him as they lay together in Elmer's bed. "Larry says Dinkman called the Fish today," Bruno whispered, sliding the blankets up over the both of them. "So we can put the Committee to rest for a while."

"That's good," Elmer said after a moment. His time would be his own again. Yet somehow the prospect didn't fill him with the elation he'd thought it would.

"Yeah," said Bruno and he shifted closer to Elmer. "It was good of you to help. You're a real pal, Elm." His body heat warmed Elmer, who accepted it gratefully. The bathroom floor, after all, was quite chilly. After a few moment, Elmer relaxed enough to shut his eyes. This was the most peaceful amount of time he had ever spent with Bruno Walton and it was only logical to make the most of it.

And then, suddenly, Elmer felt chapped lips rub against his own.

"Yeah," whispered Bruno. "A real pal." And Elmer would have asked him what he meant by that, only by the time the shock wore off, Bruno was asleep.

Maybe, thought Elmer, Bruno Walton could be liveable.

When the time came to move _Architeuthis dux_ to its new home in the pool, Elmer decided he was right.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Yuletide 2004.


End file.
